Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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