I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
