i don't like sucking hair
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
