I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Someone shit on the floor
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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