Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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