so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
