She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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