Buhtt sex?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
