I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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