my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I AM VODKA MAN
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
