It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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