the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
