Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
