I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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