I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
