don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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