I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
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