To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
