i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
