p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
