we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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