you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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