Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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