well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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