Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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