dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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