similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
