Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
