Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
