there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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