its not stalking. its research.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
