ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
