Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
