So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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