rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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