Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Randomize
