How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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