summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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