I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
