Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
