i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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