I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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