this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Randomize
