YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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