My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
