How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
