Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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