My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
