yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
