But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
