Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
