Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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