She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
